Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before
they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and
everything moves!
I think the woman who invented the phrase “All Men Are The Same”
was a chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd.
Smile… it’s the second best thing to do with your lips.
What do the Chinese call a ? Twocanchew!
If you`re texting two people at the same time,
you are bitextual.
Your lips are like wine & I wanna get drunk.
Triple in the last minutes!!!
I am not Virgin my life FCUK me everyday.
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes.
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping!
Not all cute guys have girlfriends, most of them have
boyfriends.
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like
you are in Heaven.
Without nipples, boobs would be pointless.
I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your
last checkup?
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t
believe the kids should be given homework.
Touch it gently, put fingers inside, if it’s wide use fingers,
make sure it’s wet and rub up and down.
Yep that’s how you wash a cup.
What did right boob say to the left one – you are my
“breast friend.”
Riddle: what gets long when u jerk it, fits between boobs,
slides in a hole, and loves to be pulled?
A SEAT BELT U PERVERT!!!
In a cramped bus.. Lady: Something of yours is..
S_x education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t
believe the kids should be given homework.
I don’t care if you have small boobs
Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls
dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.
You laugh at my job but you sit around collecting welfare from
my taxes – nice… glad I can help ya out , asshole.
You can’t be the top dog if you act like a pussy!
I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own FONT
I wanna do bad things with you”
save water.. shower with someone!
My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends
doing my laundry. What were you people thinking..
I have morals.
If they play dirty, then you play dirty.
“Breakfast its the most important meal of the day”
Bitch, your leggings aren’t supposed to be Saggin !
A blond goes to dry cleaning and drops of a shirt as she
walks out the door the cashier says come again the blond says
nope this time its toothpaste.
Father’s Day is to thank your dad for not pulling out.
Mother’s Day is to thank your mom for not swallowing you.
I think I could fall madly in bed with you”
I think I have mood poisoning.
If you`re texting two people at the same time,
you are bitextual.
Success is like being pregnant everybody congratulates you,
But nobody knows how many times you got f*cked to get there.
Just relax and accept the craziness. Life would be boring without it.
I’m not tryin to impress you or anything but. . .
I CAN RIDE MY BIKE WITHOUT STABILIZERS!
Women and rocks are very much alike …
We skip the flat ones.
You can’t be the top dog if you act like a pussy!
“I’ll let you play with mine”
Don’t be happy for making me a fool, you’ll later come to
know who the real fool is
BREAKING NEWS: I just found out there is nothing wrong
with ME, it is the WORLD that has issues.
I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh?
I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up
with the wierdest hairdos.
Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
I may look sane & calm; but in my head I’ve already killed
you times! I even got rid of the body.
People who describe things as “better than s_x” are having
the wrong kind of s_x.
What are you waiting for…! Come on.
Did you guys hear that Cinderella got fired from Disney world,
she was caught sitting on Pinocchio’s face screaming
“lie motha f*cka lie!”
I always wonder what my last words on earth will be but more
than likely it going to be this: Ooh what does this button do?
Like this if you have ever checked Facebook while naked..
Bitch swear they Baby Smarter than every other Baby..
“My Baby can count to ” Bitch he’s years old, he supposed to!
