Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a pretty good excuse.
The only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in
the bathroom.
It’s tough to lose weight when you’re older. By then, your body and
your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
“Want to get a drink?” “Later:” “How about now?” “Later.”
“Now?” “Later.” “Now?” –If the Windows Auto Updates pop up
was your friend.
“God I wish I was riding a dinosaur right now.” – My brain, circa now.
She was at the VMA’s covered in meat. Now she’s at the Grammys
dressed as an egg. Two more red carpets and Lady Gaga will be a
Denny’s Grand Slam. ツ ( VIA our Funny Status Update Fan Page)
I nicknamed my urethra, Franklin.
Even Popeye didn’t eat his spinach until he absolutely had to.
If you are given two contradictory orders, obey them both.
You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
May Your days be sunny and bright regardless of the weather.
Happy Tuesday!
Good Morning! Have a nice Tuesday! Your Friendship is a Blessing in
My Life!
Today will be a Good Tuesday and this morning is going to be an
awesome one! Good Morning Tuesday!
Don’t just take Tuesday as the second day of the week.Take it as a
second chance to be better, brighter and brilliant at
everything you do.
May you always choose to smile and not frown, May you always
choose to love and not hate.May you always choose to be
happy and not sad. Have a great Tuesday!
You may have had a monotonous Monday,But I can assure you
that you will have a terrific Tuesday!Have a lovely day!
It is still Tuesday, but the weekend will follow in soon enough.
Be content with whatever you have, better things will follow
soon enough.
Have a pleasant Tuesday.Learn to cherish the small things.
Simple joys can lighten up your whole universe.
Good Morning! Small things in life,to look back and realize
they were the big things today! Happy Tuesday!
Good Morning! People save good memories inpen drive & bad
memories in mind. Just change the location,life will automatically
change. Have a lovely day!
It’s on Tuesday! Worry less and work more.The more you work now,
the more you can relax over the weekend.
Leave the Monday blues behind and embrace the Tuesday hues!
I know it is only Tuesday,but I wanted to tell you that
I miss you and think of you every day of the week.
Don’t wait for the right moment to take actionThat Moment when
you take action becomes Right.Good Morning Happy Tuesday
Be the sunshine, be the fragrance of flowers,be the smell of the
morning coffee, be the spark that lights up the day — Promise yourself
that you will live today to the fullest. Good morning.
Tuesday's are really just Monday's dressed in their Sunday best.
Tuesday's child is full of grace.
Tuesday isn't so bad...It's a sign that I've somehow survived Monday.
Tuesday is Monday's ugly sister.
Ahhhhh Tuesday. The day to remember all the things I didn't get done
on Monday- and push them off until Wednesday.
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Tuesday.
Tuesday: The day after Monday that reminds you that you still have
four more days of not trying to slap a fellow co-worker.
I am having Mondy feeling towards Tuesday.
Tuesday is my second favorite day of the week to put off
everything until later in the week.
Tuesday is the day I actually start the week, Monday I just deal with
the depression of the weekend ending.
It's TUESDAY! And since itsCHOOSEDAY: Choose to Smile.
Choose to be Happy. Choose to Love. Choose to Bless.
Choose to be a Blessing. Choose to be Humble. Choose to be Patient.
Choose to be Kind...and above all. Choose God to guide your Life.
HAPPY TUESDAY!
Dear Tuesday, nobody likes you either. You're just Monday's ugly
cousin.
Three horrible facts: 1. Today is not friday 2. Tomorrow is not
Friday 3. Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.
TUESDAY Just another word for Monday.
TUESDAY I can't even see the weekend from here.
Tuesday means we're a day closer to a weekend spent dreading Monday.
Tuesday is the new Monday.
Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. That's cleaning day.
